i hate feeling so out of place
i hate feeling irritated by my friend’s friends
i hate feeling like i’m not part of the group
i hate it all


I can’t even fucking have sex right
I’m so upset and fucking stupid
I can’t focus on one thing and all I wanted to do was envision a character fucking me because apparently that’s the only damn thing to get me off lately
But i fucking couldn’t I’m a stupid piece of shit
I had too much on my mind especially because we can’t make any damn noise at all i get off on sounds i feel so fucking confined
And i now i feel like shit because my partner is happy they did a good job but I don’t have the heart to tell them how uncomfortable and upset i was while getting myself off
Because I’m fucking dumb and I can’t have anything get me off
Not that i ever was able to HAHAHAHA
I can’t fucking cum no matter what
None of the things that normally aroused me worked what the hell is wrong with me
God I’m so fucking worthless
I don’t deserve anything good
Especially when my body hurts to be touched after a certain point and I have to fake orgasm so I can stop
I don’t know how to cum and i never will because I’m a disgusting piece of horse shit
i just want to sleep forever


I WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FUCKING FACE
I CANT STAND FEELING LIKE THIS AND HAVING YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS
YEAH I KNOW IM NOT THE BEST PERSON BUT NEITHER ARE YOU


i’m a disgusting piece of shit who will never amount to anything and i just want everyone to unfriend me and never talk to me again because i’m obviously just a waste of everyone’s time


SCREAMS
STOP IT
JUST STOP IT
STOP PUSHING ME AWAY AND MAKING ME FEEL UNWANTED ALL THE TIME
STOP MAKING ME FEEL UNWELCOME
YOU BARELY UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS SHIT
PLEASE STOP
JUST FUCKING STOP IT
I FEEL LIKE I’M A CONSTANT ENEMY HERE AND IT’S PUSHING ME TO JUST GO BACK HOME AND NEVER TALK TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN
AND YOU ALL JUST WRITE IT OFF AS MY “PARANOIA” WHEN IT’S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT
IF YOU FUCKING WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH THEN MAYBE YOU’D UNDERSTAND BUT YOU DON’T AND I’M SICK OF FEELING LIKE I’M NEVER WELCOME AND MY FEELINGS ARE JUST IGNORED


I CANT WAIT TO DIE


fucking goddamn ridiculous
clean your fucking house
i’m not your maid holy shit
i’ve never been so pissed off and disappointed


it’s all my fault


STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOU DON’T HEAR ME STOP IGNORING ME I TRY TO TELL YOU MY PROBLEMS AND YOU JUST IGNORE ME


i don’t need your goddamn peace preaching social justice shit ok